Communication is a basic aspect of human nature. We communicate every day with a number of people, either for professional reasons or for personal matters.Communication in marriage occupies a central and important place as it keeps the flame alive between the spouses.
A relationship dies the moment couple stop communicating with each other.
Nowadays, the most common reason for conflicts in marriages is identified as the breakdown of healthy and open communication between couples which gives space for misunderstandings and trust issues to creep in.
A couples’ ability to communicate through words has a deep impact on the way the couple shares its experiences, fears, desires, longings, secrets and concerns. Effective communication allows partners to share themselves with each other. Putting one’s voice into words is paramount for the survival and sustenance of a marriage at all times.
Breakdown of channels of communication especially during the inevitable tough spots in marriages can deteriorate the situation further. A married couple goes through various transitory periods, such as the time when they become parents, when a spouse changes his/her job, etc., and these are the times when effective communication becomes crucial for the survival of the relationship.
Communication allows couples to work on their marriage and prevent the tendency of taking a cherished relationship for granted. A word of solace and comfort can work wonders for you especially when your mind is clouded by worries and tensions. This article examines and suggests ways in which a couple can improve its ability to communicate and prevent their married life from going down the drain due to lack of ability to talk about their issues and concerns.
Listen more than you talk
When both the spouses are talking at the same time, the result is an argument in which none of the partners is ready to concede and listen to what the other partner has to say. In order to ensure that this exercise which is aimed at expressing and discussing your views and opinions does not become futile, take turns to talk and try to remain quiet while your spouse presents his point of view.
Interrupting your spouse in between will ruin the whole purpose of the exercise. When your spouse is talking, lend him/her a patient ear and empathize with what he/she has to say. Once your spouse is done with what he/she has to say, you can offer your opinion. This little gesture is enough to convey that you value and respect your partner’s opinion.
Ask about How the Day went
If you and your spouse have reached a situation when initiating a conversation seems difficult and you find yourself at a loss of words, you can simply begin a conversation by asking about what your spouse did and how was his day in general. It is advisable to opt for neutral topics that do not make either of you uncomfortable especially if you had a serious fight a day before or were upset but now want to make things right. Talking about neutral topics will help you to understand and sympathize with each other without being judgemental.
Forgive and Forget
Having arguments and fights is a part and parcel of a married life. Nonetheless, it is wise to forgive and forget and bury the past in order to move ahead and make things work. If your intention is to move ahead without dwelling on the past, it is best to leave the arguments of the past aside. Revisiting arguments of the past will only infuriate you further and lead to more conflicts between you and your spouse. Vent out your frustration while you are having the argument and once you are done, ensure that you shut down that chapter and do not bring the topic again.
Discuss Financial Matters
Issues related to financial aspects can become a source of discord and worry amongst couples if not sorted out properly. Be open and honest while discussing financial matters with your spouse. Your spouse will need your support in coping with the rising expenditures. Sit together and plan out a monthly budget and evaluate your sources of income. Discuss about ways in which you can reduce your expenditures on unimportant things and invest your savings in more lucrative opportunities. Financial matters affect the well-being of an entire family and thus, both the spouses should talk things over before coming to a decision about finances.
Spend Time with Each Other
Unavailability of time due to workload and professional responsibilities can leave you no time to talk to your spouse. As a result, your spouse might be feeling ignored and alone. Spend time with your spouse whenever possible. Keep some time aside for talking to your spouse every day. If you are going to reach home late, give a call to your spouse in the afternoon. If possible, plan an outing for the two of you on a weekend so that you can get some time to discuss your issues with each other and keep your relationship alive.
Avoid Passing Nasty Comments
Avoid situations which propagate heated arguments until and unless they are extremely important. At times, in order to spite your spouse, you might pass some nasty comments which can add fuel to the fire. Check this tendency of yours as fights and arguments will only bring pain and hurt to both of you and harm your relationship.
A healthy two-way communication can work wonders for your married life and bring it back from the brink of failure. Establishing a healthy and comfortable dialogue between you and your spouse can help you in confiding your darkest secrets in your spouse without having to think twice as you know that you won’t be misunderstood.
Let your love and concern show not just in your actions but in your words as well. Your sincere efforts towards communicating your earnest love and affection towards your spouse can make things right in your marriage. When you put your feelings into words, they become more intense and real.