The agony of losing one’s spouse is unimaginable. Accepting the demise of the person whom you have loved and with whom you have spent some unforgettable moments can be extremely difficult. When you get married, you envision the rest of your life as a journey to be completed with your spouse.
A spouse is your pillar of strength in difficult times. He/she shares your joys and sorrows and makes your life worthwhile with his/her presence. The demise of the spouse leaves the other partner abandoned and devastated. With the death of the spouse, the relationship which was supposed to be a happily married life comes to an end. The loss of spouse drastically changes your life in unimaginable ways.
Dealing with the loss of spouse can be extremely difficult and challenging. Reconciling with the loss of your beloved spouse leaves you grief-stricken and abandoned. Moving on in life seems utterly absurd and impossible at this moment. But as we all know that time doesn’t stop for anyone and moving on in life is the only rational thing to do when you are faced with such circumstances.
At first, it may seem that the grief and loneliness will become your companions for the rest of your life. You will find hurdles at every step and your will to face these hurdles will crumble in the beginning. Nonetheless, you must accept the fact that “nothing lasts forever” and with time, your wounds will heal. The idea of remarriage might sound illogical to you but you need to realize that you cannot spend the rest of your life with the memories of your dead spouse.
You will have to create new memories and start your life anew. Dwelling on your loss will make your life meaningless and devoid of any zeal to live. In order to bring back your life together after the demise of your spouse, you will have to move on. Once you are at peace with the loss of your spouse, you need to start looking for new avenues in life which give you the strength and the will to live.
Finding a companion is one such thing which you can do to give meaning to your life. When you remarry, you might find it difficult to strike a balance between the memories of your past life and the reality of your present life. This article suggests ways in which you can deal with the loss of your spouse and create a new life after remarriage.
Take Your Time
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You have been through a very disturbing experience. Take ample time to adjust to the new circumstances. Evaluate your prospective spouse thoroughly and don’t take any hasty decisions. This decision is about your entire life and you need to be careful while making choices.
If either of the spouse has children in a remarriage, the situation becomes complex. If you have children with your late spouse, you need to be extra careful while remarrying. Evaluate all the factors as your children’s future depends on it. Make sure whether your prospective spouse is happy about the kids and is willing to take them as his/her own children. Take your children’s opinion in this matter and whether they will be able to adjust with the new mother/father.
Keep aside some amount for the safety of your children. Your children have been through an equally disturbing experience as they have lost one of their parents. You need to make sure that they are treated well in the new family and given the love and care they deserve.
If your prospective spouse has children, you need to evaluate your own capability and ascertain whether you will be able to parent the children with as much dedication as possible. Find out whether the children are willing to accept you as a member of the family and as their parent.
Every single individual on this planet is different and has something unique in his/her personality. Comparing your present spouse with your late spouse will only create rifts in your relationship. Accept your spouse as an individual with distinct personality traits. Never draw a comparison between your life as a married couple with your late spouse and your present spouse.
Let Go Off The Past
The memories of your late spouse will keep coming back to you throughout your life. But don’t let your precious memories become a reason for discord in your married life. Let your spouse know that you have moved on in your life and you care about him. Let him know that your relationship with your late spouse meant a lot to you but you value your present relationship above anything else.
Sort Out The Finances
Finance is a major issue to handle when you decide to remarry. Sit with your prospective spouse and sort out all issues related to finance like how much earning will you contribute at home, who will pay for the education and needs of the children, what will happen to the assets that belong to you, etc. Keeping a unanimous opinion about the financial matters will prevent any chances of discord in future between you and your prospective spouse.
You cannot spend the rest of eternity brooding over the loss of your spouse. There are other people in this world whose life is attached to yours and you will have to live for them. If you have children, it is necessary that you pull yourself together and provide them a new life and a new family. Moreover you cannot while away your life living in the shadows of the past.
You need to give a new direction and aim to your life. Remarriage after the death of a spouse is no longer frowned upon in the society. In fact it will give you a chance to lead a normal life once again. But before you make a move towards remarriage, think carefully and clearly. Once you are sure of yourself, only then take this decision. With time, your life will be filled with happy and joyous moments and you will have something to live for.