In recent times the old adage ‘Marriages are made in Heaven’ seems extremely inapt especially when most marriages end in divorce. In this fast paced, stress ridden life where relationships crumble even before they begin, most people question whether there are any ways of overcoming individual differences and remaining together as a happily married couple.
In fact each partner can contribute many positive things to a marriage to make it work. In the United States almost fifty five percent of all marriages end in divorce. Most marriages sour because of petty difference which crop up between the spouses.
These differences in most cases are completely avoidable. An important factor which causes a marriage to disintegrate is misunderstanding caused by lack of communication. Always keep channels of communication open with your partner, as shutting them out of your life will only lead to divorce and heartbreak in the end.
Often a few important guidelines can prevent a marriage from falling apart completely. In most cases couples who have followed some simple guidelines have been able to resolve their marital problems and stay together as a happily married couple.
Always Keep Channels of Communication Open
Most marriages fail because of misunderstandings. It is extremely imperative that both partners keep the channels of communication open, to prevent any simple misunderstanding from progressing into irreconcilable differences. If you feel your spouse or partner is harboring any grudge or anger, talk to them openly and sort out the problem there and then.
Make your partner understand that you are always available for an open and frank talk. Remain calm while discussing marital issues with your partner. Never indulge in the blame game. Ensure that the discussion will help to resolve the problem and not widen the emotional chasm between the two of you.
Resolve Quarrels Quickly
Marriages are between two individual who have their own unique identities. In many cases a clash of interest between the spouses can ignite a quarrel. Try to sort out the problems which have resulted in the quarrel. Never go to sleep with anger simmering in your mind.
The longer it takes for you to address the problem which has resulted in the squabble, the greater are the chances that the problem will not get sorted out at all. In the meantime the relationship begins to sour; and the problem which caused the quarrel will become a bone of contention which will be brought up repeatedly by the aggrieved spouse in the future.
Spend Some Quality Time Together
If a relationship has to work out, both partners need to invest some quality time together. Don’t get caught up in the daily routine to such an extent that you have no time for your spouse. In most cases partners stray away from a relationship and end up having an extra marital affair because they are not getting enough attention and affection from their spouses.
Carve some time out from the daily grind to spend time with spouse. Simple activities like watching a movie or taking up a hobby class together can do wonders to your flagging marriage. Walk that extra mile to make your partner feel loved and wanted. Relieve the thrill and excitement you experienced during your courtship days, by escaping with your spouse for a romantic weekend getaway.
Never Condemn Your Partner In Front Of Others
The surest way to sound the death knell for your marriage is to criticize your partner in front of others. If you disapprove of any particular habit or quality that your partner possesses, make sure to call your spouse aside and let him or her know what is upsetting you. Let your disapproval be known to your partner in a gentle way. Never use abusive language while criticizing your spouse.
Never Have Unrealistic Expectations
Enter a marriage knowing what you can expect from your spouse. Never have any unrealistic expectations of them as unfulfilled expectations will only increase the feeling of disillusionment and the belief that you have been given a raw deal. Talk openly with your spouse of your expectations regarding sex, money, future plans so that you do not harbor any grudge against your partner if your desires are not met.
Let Your Spouse Know How Much You Love Them
Never hold back your love for your spouse. Let them know how much you care for them. Let your spouse relieve your early days of marriage, by sending them cards or flowers. You can even send some little message telling them how great they are. All these little gestures go a long way in cementing your marital relationship.
Take Time Out to Look Good
The best way to keep the spark of romance in your marriage alive is by taking time out to look good. Never feel that looks don’t matter any more now that you are married. In fact one of the best ways to keep your spouse interested in you and to prevent them straying away from the marriage is to take that extra effort to look well groomed and beautiful.
Don’t Let Your Spouse Down In Front of Your Children
Never make the mistake of running down your spouse in front of your children. If you are not happy with your spouse’s parenting style, call them aside and let them know instead of criticizing them in front of the kids. Let your children know that you work together as a team and never allow issues involving the child to destroy your marriage.
Learn To Forgive and Move On
There should be a lot of give and take in your marriage. Never remain rigid or bear a grudge against your spouse. Anger will not only harm the relationship but your health as well. If you feel that your spouse has been unfair to you in any way, address the situation with them immediately, forgive them and just move on. Never let simple misunderstandings stand in the way of you having a successful marriage.
Involve a Mediator
If you feel that marital issues have reached a flash point where you and your spouse cannot resolve it, then involve a third person who will be able to give an unbiased opinion to act as a mediator. You can either involve a friend, a relative or sibling to act as a mediator and help you find a solution to your problems.