However, there are some emotional outbursts that become really difficult to handle, making the entire family confused and bewildered –anger is one such emotion. Especially if the child consistently remains in an angry state of mind, it becomes neigh on impossible to keep the calm and handle the situation every time.
Parenting the angry child can be compared to walking through some minefield, with no knowledge of where the mines are located –one wrong step can set off a huge explosion. A typical angry child is almost capable of and essentially does hold the whole family hostage.
An unknown fear of accidentally stepping on that tripwire of mine and by saying or doing something wrong that obviously results into the explosion of anger and then enduring with the ensuing wrath.
The preliminary condition that needs to be remembered is children –no matter how much repulsive they are in nature, they always have a reason to be repulsive. This reason for being repulsive needs to be found out.
According to the famous book of “Dr. Tim Murphy” named “The Angry Child” anger has been defined as “an extremely powerful response that is triggered as a resultant of some other negative emotion, resulting in an aggressive behavior of inconsistent intensity which is at times quite inappropriate.”
Anger can come out due to a lot of factors like that of stress, emotional or physical pain, powerlessness or frustration, etc. anger can even happen due to some serious medical issues like ADHD, depression, or at times even bi-polar disorder.
It is extremely important rule of the thumb to know the child properly to get to the root cause of the anger. It maybe the marital issues between the parents that troubles the child’s mind, or some issues at school, it can be difficulty in getting good grades and being bullied as a result as well.
Dr. Murphy segregates anger into four different stages.
The primary stage is where the Build-Up of anger starts with tension mounting up and the nerves begin conflicting.
The secondary stage involves the Spark –this is the definite trigger resulting in an angry outburst. This trigger can be a simple enough act like the sibling just entering the room with a hello.
Now comes the Explosion itself –this one can be anything from physical, verbal, or even both at times.
After the subsiding of the outburst comes the Aftermath a peaceful time after the storm is over. This time is perfect for ant possible discussions and resolutions as well, and it should be used by the parents to the maximum amount possible.