A possessive partner may become a serious reason of concern in a relationship and handling such a partner becomes quite stressful at times. One should understand why and how possessiveness occurs, the possible reactions that take place in the other partner and how to deal with a possessive partner in an effective manner.
Possessiveness to an extent is normal and required in a relationship; but the level of possessiveness as long as remains healthy is alright to handle. The moment the level of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level it takes serious turns and sometimes even breaks the relationship.
Possessiveness isn’t confined to any particular sex as it may happen to either the man or the woman in a relationship. Various people have different levels of maturity and perception. For one possessiveness may be a means of showing love while for someone else it may be just the absence of love.
Therefore understanding one’s psyche is very important why he or she is being over possessive. Various other reasons like lack of self esteem, feelings of insecurity, bitter past experience, lack of love, need to feel attention and important may be the reasons for possessive behavior.
Dealing with possessiveness shouldn’t be that difficult if a partner is willing to make the relationship work. Yet the responsibility doesn’t only lie with one of the partners but both; even the one who is being over possessive. The possessive partner needs to introspect to find the reasons that are compelling him or her to be over possessive.
He or she should speak clearly regarding the problems with the partner who should be open and willing to help. One must give assurance and importance which the partner deserves. Being clear and straightforward rather than giving conflicting and vague messages help to clear doubts in the partner’s mind. Facing the situation is a much better option than running or escaping from it.
The over possessive partner should also try and stop controlling as one should understand that no level of controlling can keep the loved one committed to the relation; rather freedom and space can make the partner feel wanted and loved therefore no question of possessiveness arises. Both should have a life outside the relationship as well; one shouldn’t completely confine oneself within the boundaries of the relation which makes one completely dependant therefore possessive about the relationship.